Giles
24th December 2005, 06:02 PM
WHY WOMEN ARE BETTER THAN DOGS
It is socially acceptable to have sexual relations with a woman.
Women look good in sweaters.
Women leave the room to fart.
WHY DOGS ARE BETTER THAN WOMEN
Dogs don't cry.
Dogs like it when you leave lots of things on the floor.
Dogs love it when your friends come over.
Dogs don't care if you use their shampoo.
Dogs think you sing great.
A dog's time in the bathroom is confined to a quick drink.
When a dog gets old and starts to snap at you incessantly, you can shoot it.
Dogs will forgive you for playing with other dogs.
Dogs don't expect you to call when you are running late.
The later you are, the more excited dogs are to see you.
Dogs don't notice if you call them by another dog's name.
Dogs are excited by rough play.
Dogs don't mind if you give their offspring away.
Dogs understand that farts are funny.
Anyone can get a good-looking dog.
If a dog is gorgeous, other dogs don't hate it.
Dogs never need to examine the relationship.
Dog's parents never come for a visit.
Dogs love long car trips.
Dogs like beer.
Dogs don't hate their bodies.
It's legal to keep a dog chained up at your house.
Dogs never expect gifts.
No dog ever put on 100 pounds after reaching adulthood.
Dogs agree that you have to raise your voice to get your point across.
Dogs don't worry about germs.
Dogs don't want to know about every other dog you ever had.
Dogs like to do their snooping outside as opposed to in your wallet,
desk, and the back of your sock drawer.
Dogs don't borrow your shirts.
Dogs enjoy heavy petting in public.
Dogs find you amusing when you're drunk.
Dogs can't talk.
Dogs seldom outlive you.
HOW DOGS AND WOMEN ARE ALIKE
Both look stupid in hats.
Both can eat 5 pounds of chocolate in one sitting.
Both tend to have "hip" problems.
Neither understand football.
Both are good at pretending that they're listening to every word you say.
Neither believe that silence is golden.
Neither can balance a checkbook.
You can never tell what either of them is thinking.
Both put too much value on kissing.
It is socially acceptable to have sexual relations with a woman.
Women look good in sweaters.
Women leave the room to fart.
WHY DOGS ARE BETTER THAN WOMEN
Dogs don't cry.
Dogs like it when you leave lots of things on the floor.
Dogs love it when your friends come over.
Dogs don't care if you use their shampoo.
Dogs think you sing great.
A dog's time in the bathroom is confined to a quick drink.
When a dog gets old and starts to snap at you incessantly, you can shoot it.
Dogs will forgive you for playing with other dogs.
Dogs don't expect you to call when you are running late.
The later you are, the more excited dogs are to see you.
Dogs don't notice if you call them by another dog's name.
Dogs are excited by rough play.
Dogs don't mind if you give their offspring away.
Dogs understand that farts are funny.
Anyone can get a good-looking dog.
If a dog is gorgeous, other dogs don't hate it.
Dogs never need to examine the relationship.
Dog's parents never come for a visit.
Dogs love long car trips.
Dogs like beer.
Dogs don't hate their bodies.
It's legal to keep a dog chained up at your house.
Dogs never expect gifts.
No dog ever put on 100 pounds after reaching adulthood.
Dogs agree that you have to raise your voice to get your point across.
Dogs don't worry about germs.
Dogs don't want to know about every other dog you ever had.
Dogs like to do their snooping outside as opposed to in your wallet,
desk, and the back of your sock drawer.
Dogs don't borrow your shirts.
Dogs enjoy heavy petting in public.
Dogs find you amusing when you're drunk.
Dogs can't talk.
Dogs seldom outlive you.
HOW DOGS AND WOMEN ARE ALIKE
Both look stupid in hats.
Both can eat 5 pounds of chocolate in one sitting.
Both tend to have "hip" problems.
Neither understand football.
Both are good at pretending that they're listening to every word you say.
Neither believe that silence is golden.
Neither can balance a checkbook.
You can never tell what either of them is thinking.
Both put too much value on kissing.