kat
8th April 2003, 09:49 PM
During all police investigations, it will be necessary to visit a strip club at least once.
The ventilation system of any building is the perfect hiding place. No one will ever think of looking for you in there and you can travel to any other part of the building you want without difficulty.
Kitchens don't have light switches. When entering a kitchen at night, you should open the fridge door and use that light instead.
Television news bulletins usually contain a story that affects you personally at that precise moment.
A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.
It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts - your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors.
An electric fence powerful enough to kill a large dinosaur will cause no lasting damage to an eight-year-old child.
It is not necessary to say hello or goodbye when beginning or ending phone conversations.
Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German you need not speak the language. A German accent will do.
A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating but will wince in agony when a woman tries to clean his wounds.
Cars and trucks that crash will almost always burst into flames.
If a killer is lurking in your house, it's easy to find him. Just relax and run a bath - even if it's the middle of the afternoon.
All single women have a cat.
Any person waking from a nightmare will sit bolt upright and pant.
One man shooting at 20 men has a better chance of killing them all than 20 men firing at one.
Most people keep a scrapbook of newspaper cutting - especially if any of their family or friends has died in a strange boating accident.
When they are alone, all foreigners prefer to speak English to each other.
Action heroes never face charges for manslaughter or criminal damage despite laying entire cities to waste.
If there is a deranged killer on the loose, this will coincide with a thunderstorm that has brought down all the power and phone lines in the vicinity.
All Americans have phones which can reach throughout the house-even if it has a cord. If its cordless- you can pick up perfect reception all around the house...unless there is a insane killer about
All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red readouts so you know exactly when they're going to go off.
Building ventilation ducts are always clean.
Film stars are always super-human- they never need to use the bathroom
Any computer, anywhere, even in the jungle, can hack into the most secure goverment system.
All telephone numbers in America begin with the digits 555.
All handcuffs can easily be opened with nothing more than a paper clip.
If your town is threatened by an imminent natural disaster or killer beast, the mayor's first concern will be the tourist trade or his forthcoming art exhibition.
At least one of a pair of identical twins is born evil.
Should you decide to defuse a bomb don't worry which wire to cut. You will always choose the right one.
Honest and hard working policemen are traditionally gunned down three days before their retirement.
If you are blonde and pretty, it is possible to become a world expert on nuclear fission at the age of 22.
Even if you've been set up for murder, been framed and you have the whole world wide police force hunting you down, you will automatically live happily ever after as long as you break away from the police and kill the bad guy.
The ventilation system of any building is the perfect hiding place. No one will ever think of looking for you in there and you can travel to any other part of the building you want without difficulty.
Kitchens don't have light switches. When entering a kitchen at night, you should open the fridge door and use that light instead.
Television news bulletins usually contain a story that affects you personally at that precise moment.
A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.
It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts - your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors.
An electric fence powerful enough to kill a large dinosaur will cause no lasting damage to an eight-year-old child.
It is not necessary to say hello or goodbye when beginning or ending phone conversations.
Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German you need not speak the language. A German accent will do.
A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating but will wince in agony when a woman tries to clean his wounds.
Cars and trucks that crash will almost always burst into flames.
If a killer is lurking in your house, it's easy to find him. Just relax and run a bath - even if it's the middle of the afternoon.
All single women have a cat.
Any person waking from a nightmare will sit bolt upright and pant.
One man shooting at 20 men has a better chance of killing them all than 20 men firing at one.
Most people keep a scrapbook of newspaper cutting - especially if any of their family or friends has died in a strange boating accident.
When they are alone, all foreigners prefer to speak English to each other.
Action heroes never face charges for manslaughter or criminal damage despite laying entire cities to waste.
If there is a deranged killer on the loose, this will coincide with a thunderstorm that has brought down all the power and phone lines in the vicinity.
All Americans have phones which can reach throughout the house-even if it has a cord. If its cordless- you can pick up perfect reception all around the house...unless there is a insane killer about
All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red readouts so you know exactly when they're going to go off.
Building ventilation ducts are always clean.
Film stars are always super-human- they never need to use the bathroom
Any computer, anywhere, even in the jungle, can hack into the most secure goverment system.
All telephone numbers in America begin with the digits 555.
All handcuffs can easily be opened with nothing more than a paper clip.
If your town is threatened by an imminent natural disaster or killer beast, the mayor's first concern will be the tourist trade or his forthcoming art exhibition.
At least one of a pair of identical twins is born evil.
Should you decide to defuse a bomb don't worry which wire to cut. You will always choose the right one.
Honest and hard working policemen are traditionally gunned down three days before their retirement.
If you are blonde and pretty, it is possible to become a world expert on nuclear fission at the age of 22.
Even if you've been set up for murder, been framed and you have the whole world wide police force hunting you down, you will automatically live happily ever after as long as you break away from the police and kill the bad guy.